“Everyone who’s alive right now. Everyone’s who’s made it this far. We’ve all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We’re not too far gone. We get to come back. I know… we all can change.”—Rick Grimes, The Walking Dead (via evocative-eloquence)
Alex turned twenty four today. And we seriously had the best time ever. We went to The Pantages Theatre and watched the Lion King! IT WAS A M A Z I N G. Like how much work they do and how they make humans into the animals and how crazy good the actors were with mimicking their characters voices. And I was a bit worried about the stampede part, I was like HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT EH? But it was amazing!!!! AND THERES THIS PART WHERE SCAR KILLS MUFASA BY THROWING HIM OFF CLIFF AND THEY DID SO GOOD. LET ME TELL YEW. They made him fall with a harness attached but they had the awesome idea of making it happen in SLOW MOTION. And I loved seeing how they switched the younger Nala and Simba for older actors. Well DUH. Point is, it was so amazing and I’m glad I surprised Alex with tickets to it!!! We ended the night by speeding down the freeway to the Mcdonalds by my house. We only had TEN dollars and we were starving. We both afforded large drinks and two burgers and large fries!!! With change to spare! It was awesome! And we ate in their parking lot and listened to the radio and we’re rocking out as the songs playing and we keep looking at each other all googly eyes and I told him, “I feel sixteen right now. What we’re doing. Thank you. I love you so much!” It felt we were sixteen cause we didn’t care it was past eleven. We were craving Mcdonalds and got it. We were listening to music and jamming out in the car. I met Alex at the age of 19. So I didn’t get to go through that awkward high school stage with him, but it felt so good tonight. It felt like that’s exactly what we would of done if we’d known each other sooner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST ALEX. I LOVE YOU. YOU R THE BEST EVER.
I feel like a wave of a bunch of emotions are overwhelming me and not good ones let me tell you. And I have to pretend and be all happy and be nice and just be the opposite of how I’m feeling. And thanksgiving is coming up and I don’t even want it to come cause I’m just feeling so bad. I feel like I can’t stop crying. I’m just so fucking emotional which I shouldn’t be cause it’s my fault. And god I just don’t know what to do. And this is so pathetic. But it’s my blog. This is how I’m feeling right now. And I don’t wanna talk about it to anyone. And I’m just a shit of a person. I just wish I could disappear cause I’m no good for anyone. My brother just naturally hates me and the other one is just there. And my mom. I get her sick cause I fight so much with my dad. And then my Alex. I’ve just been a total asshole to him sometimes and I’m just no good.